My daughter informed me that she got into trouble at school today. She was so upset and said that the teachers were yelling at her. She finally explained that the fire alarm was sounding and she tried to run and hide in the classroom. Apparently the teachers ended up yelling and had to drag her out of the building. She kept telling me it made her ears hurt.
She has shown a massive increase in behaviors since recovering from adenoid and ear tube surgery. The good news is that we now understand her sensory issues are primarily auditory.
On the bus she proceeded to kick and punch people without reason. When the driver asked why she was punching and kicking, she told the driver “grandma does it to me!” This can’t be further from the truth. I have witnessed my mom spanking her when she unplugged a lamp and tried to stick a fork in the socket. My daughter laughed after being spanked as she thought it was funny. My mom has a really hard time moving around and uses a walker. She is not actually able to kick. Later my daughter explained they wrestle and grandma doesn’t actually hurt her. She just told the driver that because she wanted her to stop talking.
During ABA she has been labeling flash cards representing bad things as “good and safe” and flash cards representing good things as “bad and dangerous”. She smiles and laughs as she answers and seems to think it’s a joke.
I think she understands but prefers to answer opposit because it’s a game to her. Maybe it bores her but she won’t tell me why and maybe she doesn’t know? I always try to talk openly and tell her when things aren’t very appropriate to say. It’s still a struggle.
I’m worried I’m going to be forced to medicate her to calm her down so that she can pay attention. I realize that sometimes it’s needed, but I have just never experienced this before, and as a mom, it’s all really scary.
She even tore her lovey “Bumpy” the other day and I had to sew him back up. It was bad and she freaked out because she couldn’t have him to comfort her until he was fixed.
I just wish I knew how to help her more, but sometimes I’m at a complete loss. It’s an unwelcoming feeling as a parent. It is what it is, but I can’t help but feel sad. There are days when things are beautiful and seem normal, but there are also days I wonder if she will be unable to adapt and require long term care. I just need to stop thinking about that but it’s hard not to.
I’d give so much to own our own home. A place where she can run around and just be a kid and not have to worry about adapting because the neighbors or management don’t care that she’s autistic. They think she’s just a bad kid cause she doesn’t look sick or dysfunctional. Why do people have to be so judgmental?